Grapes

Under normal circumstances, when I react negatively to others Amanda gets mad at me. Like the other day when we were at Village Inn and I saw a waiter drop the ice scoop on the ground and then kick it and then pick it up and use it to scoop ice into a glass I was apalled and I wanted to say something. Amanda knew I was going to mouth off to the guy and begged me not to. She hates it when I make a scene. I can't blame her. I'm pretty good at it. Anyway, she calmed me down a bit and I didn't say anything to the waiter as he walked by. I just gave him really dirty looks. The waiter walked over to a table with the glasses of water and gave them to two little old ladies. No crap. Little old ladies. Then I knew I had to say something. When our waitress brought our food to our table, she caught us right in the middle of a quiet disagreement about what course of action I should take. The waitress asked if anything was wrong. I told her there was in fact something wrong and then recounted what I had seen. The old ladies drinks were replaced. The ice scoop was replaced. The waiter was chastised. The crappy part is, I was chastised too. Amanda doesn't like it when my confrontational side comes out. I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be, but at the restaurant that day, I couldn't play nice. Have you ever seen the floors at a Village Inn? They're pretty disgusting. Not to mention the other places that waiter had likely walked before he picked the scoop up off the floor and used to serve icy poo water to some unsuspecting grandmothers.
Anyway, last night I was walking through the kitchen and saw some grapes Amanda got at the store. I got a little smile on my face as I realized how perfect a grape would be at that exact moment. As I picked one off the little vine and walked into the living room and out onto the front porch, Amanda asked what I was doing with the grape. I didn't have time to answer her. I had to throw the grape. It was a perfect shot. It hit our neighbors window and made a really loud "bong" sound. The neighbor looked out the window and saw me standing on my porch, waving to her. She turned the music down. She had been playing it so loudly I could hear it when I was in our basement doing laundry. After about 40 minutes I couldn't take it anymore.
Amanda, who usually hates it when I'm confrontational said this time it was okay because the music was so lame. Seriously. Who still listens to Verve? Give me a break. Best use of a grape ever.